Friday Confessional

Mamarazzi and Glamazon want to know what we have to confess this week.

I confess...that I found it hard to focus at our sunrise service, as our neighborhood dog was sniffing and circling all around us. I just knew he was going to hunker down and do his business and I was not sure how I would contain myself. The first lady of the church is supposed to set an example, she can't go busting a gut when Casey lays a log in the cemetery...

I confess...that I left my car windows down on Monday and it poured rain. I came out to a sopping wet seat, with no towel or anything to sit on in the car. I was forced to sit down and drive home with a soaking wet butt. I really needed to stop at WalMart and I thought seriously about it--we were down to our last Diet Cherry Pepsi, this was a serious crisis. And even with a soaking wet butt, I would still be in better shape than half of the locals that you see at WalMart, but I held off for fear of bringing embarrassment to the Rev....well, that and I didn't want any rumors getting started about my ability to control my bladder.

I confess...that I received all sorts of gift certificates for Administrative Professional's Day (oh my stars, why must we be so PC, Secretary's Day is a whole lot less to type..) and they are burning a hole in my pocket. I will spend a gift certificate in a skinny minute, the Rev hoards his until he decides what he wants to buy. He probably still has the ones he got at Christmas. What do you do--save them or spend them right away?

I confess that I also received the cutest book from the Kindergartners for the above mentioned too-long-to-type-again holiday. They proclaimed me to be awesome and drew me as a skinny chick in a triangle dress.

I confess...that last week I moved 36 cartoon/superhero collector's drinking glasses, just to be able to dust the shelves in the Rev's office. This seems excessive to me, but what do I know? At least he doesn't display his dolls action figures, so I don't have to move Princess Boba Solo Skywalker to dust every week.

I confess...that you guys are either going to have to get sunglasses or get used to the pasty legs. I wore pantyhose last week and I darn near set myself on fire with the sparks coming from my fat thighs rubbing together. I am convinced that a man invented pantyhose and bras for sure...

I confess...that the above pantyhose confession makes me really glad that it is casual Sunday at church this week. I'm still chafed...